Q Bono

Jul. 11th, 2011 10:14 pm
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[personal profile] bookdragon01
Title: Q Bono
Pairing:  Q + Janice Rand
Bingo Card: babel.crackerboxpalace.com/stbingo/bookdragon01card1.jpg
Bingo Progress: [3/8 needed to complete bingo]
Summary:  Janice Rand knew she was a minor character. But her job, while thankless, was about as safe and normal as possible on the Enterprise. That all changed when a certain member of the Continuum decided to take an interest ... (Follows Q-incidence, but it's not necessary to read that first)
Warnings:  Q flirting, references events in TOS episode 'Miri', otherwise PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing in Star Trek, but I'd love to borrow Q's snap-and-make-things-happen power


Janice Rand walked through her door and nearly tripped in surprise. A man dressed in a strange black and maroon jumpsuit was sitting on her bed.

He beamed at her. "Yeoman Rand! I must say your hair style is a lot better in this universe."

Rand hit the comm on her wall. "Security."

No response. She pressed it again. "Security!"

"Oh that won't work," he said smugly. "You're the only person in red that I want to talk to and besides," he made a face, "Giotto gets so grumpy when it comes to people like me. Must be something about Security Chiefs," he added almost as an aside, "Worf and Tuvok never liked me either."

Damn. Another super powerful being like Charlie X or Trelane. "Look, I don't know who you are, but -"

"Why how rude of me!" With a snap of fingers, he was instantly standing in front of her. "We haven't been properly introduced. I'm Q - the multiverse's most omniscient, omnipotent and suavely handsome being," he grabbed her hand and bent to kiss it, "at your service."

Janice snatched her hand away. She would have slapped him, except that when she'd done that to Charlie, he'd sent her into a creepy dark limbo that she wasn't keen to revisit. "Whoever you are, you're in the wrong place. You want the Captain, or Mr. Spock -"

"Uh-uh, omniscient being - I know who I want," he waggled his eyebrows a little. "and it's you."

She pointedly ignored the innuendo. "Find someone else."

"Spunk," Q chuckled. "I always liked that in the other you too. When I saw you fight off the 'bad' Kirk despite how much you want him, I knew you were the same you in this 'verse."

"Get out." He might send her to limbo, but there were some things Janice wasn't going to put up with even from a god-like being.

He blithely walked in the other direction. "You know, I don't know what you see in him. Kirk's a boy, and not really all that good-looking. Is it the eyes maybe?" Q turned and widened eyes now the same vivid blue as the Captain's.


"Now, now, you don't know what you're passing up," he grinned slyly. "It's not everyday that a being like me takes an interest in a minor, if shapely," his eyes traveled along her figure, "character like you. You should feel honored that I'm even including you in my plans."

"I don't." Janice narrowed her eyes. "So go find someone else for your plans."

"Ah, there's the rub," Q quoted dramatically, "as one of your earth poets - Billy something or other - once said."

Janice smirked. "I thought you were omniscient."

"I am," he insisted, flipping a hand dismissively. "It's an indexing thing - with infinite information I can't be bothered keeping every little detail at the top of my mind."


"In any case, I usually have someone else," Q frowned. "Unfortunately he's having a absolute snit about a little virus he's not allowed to cure and won't cooperate. So, I've come to you - and really it's quite an opportunity."

She crossed her arms. "For what exactly?"

"You're going to make a big difference in a little girl's life, and consequently the whole future of this universe. Save the cheerleader. Save the world." He paused a beat, looking up thoughtfully, and then frowned. "Sorry, wrong universe, but you get the idea."

"Sort of," she admitted. News of a child in trouble was something she wouldn't ignore no matter the messenger. "How do I find this little girl?"

"Easy," Q grinned. "You're going to go on an away mission."

Janice shook her head. "Your indexing thing is off again. I'm the Captain's Yeoman. I don't go on away missions."

"You're going on this one." In a flash of light a PADD appeared in his hand showing her name on the roster. "And when the Captain objects - and he will - you're going to point to your name right here and make him take you."

"He's the Captain. I can't make him do anything."

"Oh, Janice, we both know that's not true," Q chided. "Making the Captain do the necessary little things he hates to bother with is practically your job description. And besides, if you can stand up to an omnipotent and devilishly handsome being like me, how hard could it be to stick to your guns with Captain Sexy Pants?"

She scowled. "Captain Kirk -"

"Is not nearly as important to every away mission as he thinks he is," Q interrupted. "And he has no idea just important you really are. Especially this time, because on the next planet it is essential that an otherwise anonymous child gets to see a strong, compassionate, female Starfleet officer." He beamed, putting a hand on her shoulder. "And that's you."

Janice couldn't help it. She blushed. Despite all the obnoxious semi-flirting, Q had touched something there. She liked to think that her work was important because it helped keep the ship running smoothly, but if she had started to have some unprofessional feelings for Jim Kirk it was because, of all the officers she'd served, he looked at her like she was a real person and not just a background player in his own life. However, even he had never implied that she herself was important. Hearing it from an omniscient (if somewhat disorganized) being was empowering and ...flattering.

"Alright, I'll do it." She straightened and shrugged his hand off her shoulder, because omniscient or not, she didn't want him to think she was easy. "But only because there's a little girl who needs me."


Rand returned from the planet and collapsed on her bed. If this was what away missions were like, it was no wonder the security guys always had the biggest stashes of booze.

Still, while the Captain might have been miffed that after forcing him to bring her, she'd wound up being captured by the Onlies, there had been a little girl in the tattered remnants of a cheerleader outfit who had watched her the whole time with a sort of longing. If it weren't for Q, she might have thought it was just a child with a vague memory of once having had a mother, but the idea that she was making an important impression on someone critical to the future had given Janice more grace under pressure than she had previously imagined she could possess. So her life ultimately would mean something, and even if no one else would ever know it, that felt good.

In the here and now, however, she was going to have to consider a transfer. The stress of the disease and facing death (because Q hadn't actually said that she'd survive, had he?) had driven her to break down and cry in the Captain's arms. It had been no more than comfort, but a line had been crossed. He was never going to look at her as a competent, professional yeoman again. The trouble was that anywhere she could go from the flagship would be a step down and, being Jim Kirk, the Captain would deny there was a problem and refuse to sign a transfer order.

There was a sudden weight on the bed beside her. "So who needs his signature?"

ACK! Janice vaulted off the bed faster than should have been possible in her exhausted condition. "I mean it this time Q. Get out!"

Q leaned back on her pillow, putting is hands behind his hand and crossing his legs nonchalantly. "Now is that anyway to treat someone who's come to make you the best offer you've ever had?"

Janice narrowed her eyes, but couldn't help noticing long legs. He'd been tall and the face was the same, but she could swear that since last time he'd altered something about his build to make it closer to the Captain's. She crossed her arms and glared. "If it involves my getting back on that bed with you, you can forget it."

"You wound me Janice," he pouted. "To think me such a cad when I've come to offer you the perfect solution to your dilemma and the best promotion possible in this or any universe."

She raised an eyebrow. "And that would be?"

"Why becoming my yeoman of course," Q got up, smiling smugly. "You can even keep your Starfleet commission since it might come in handy. I'll arrange orders promoting you to some plum but nearly invisible position at HQ so you can travel with me any time and no one will be the wiser."

In her current position it was tempting, and he certainly needed someone who could keep track of details, BUT... "I thought you already had an assistant or did you fire him for talking back to you?" Because there was no way she was going to be able to not talk back to Q.

"Him?" Q sighed. "No, he's still working with me, but he's more of an independent contractor than an assistant. And there's some sort of mating business coming up that makes his species go completely crazy." Q rolled his eyes. "I'm afraid he's going to be no help to me whatsoever until he's secured a mate and finished doing his bit to replenish the race. So, when can you start?"

"I ...don't recall agreeing to take the job."

"Oh, but you will. Think of it." He stepped behind her, putting a hand on one shoulder, his face just over the other, and holding his other hand up as though framing a view. "Traveling the universe in a snap of my fingers, seeing worlds most humans won't even find for another century - and all without having to worry about toxins, diseases, hostile natives or anything else that usually makes the color you're wearing bad news."

Janice bit her lip. "It's an attractive offer, but -"

"I'll even throw in a no aging policy," Q offered. "You'll stay just as young, pretty and vivacious as you are right now for as long as you're in my employ."

After what she'd just been through, that was really tempting. But there had to be a catch and she was afraid she knew what it was. She looked him in the eye. "If I take this, the job doesn't include or depend on sleeping with you?"

"Absolutely not!" His eyebrows rose in shock. "I'm a Q. This limited physical body is just a construct so you won't be utterly over-awed by my actual magnificence."

Janice stifled a smirk. "Well, who could say no to working for someone with that sort of humility."

"Excellent!" He snapped his fingers and handed her a PADD. "Here are the orders with your promotion. I'll meet you on Starbase 1 in a week," Q flashed a disconcertingly Kirk-like grin. "I'll be the handsome one."

She nearly dropped the PADD.

"Just a little harmless flirtation. I promise." Q pressed the PADD back into her hand and smiled disarmingly. "Unless you'd like it to be more - I can do blue eyes you know."

Damn it. He was borderline cute when he was joking and she was not going that route with a boss again. "That's okay. I actually prefer hazel."

"Then hazel it is!" His eyes twinkled as he raised his hand and snapped, disappearing in a flash.


AN: Another livejournal startrekbingo entry for the Janice Rand/Q space. Title is a play on 'Cui bono', a Latin phrase meaning 'for whose benefit?'.

The TOS episode '
Miri' was the only one in which Rand got to go on an away mission and it was the last episode in which she appeared.

Like it? Hate it? Please r&r
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